tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31670595092796657112024-03-07T20:24:09.765-08:00Beauty and ImperfectionJamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-57641070420124783382015-02-10T08:40:00.001-08:002015-02-10T08:40:14.909-08:00New Blog Address<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I haven't posted on this page in a long time. I have a new blog address: jamiejacobsgoldberg.blogspot.com<div>
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Come visit!</div>
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Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-5939920555471347572012-06-27T15:14:00.000-07:002012-06-27T15:14:16.760-07:00Desire and Self-Pity<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The last time I was on an airplane was in 1993. My last vacation was three years ago. My daughter is almost 16 and she has never been on a plane. Am I complaining? Yes. Do I hurt? Yes. Am I envious of all of those people that go on vacation every year, while I stay home? Yes. Do I want to travel? More than anything.<br />
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I don't know how to change this. I wish that I did. I wanted my daughter to travel and have vacations. I'm an educated woman, who has never been able to get ahead financially. At 42, a part of me still believes it's possible to turn this all around. Some part of me still believes that I am capable of great success and creativity. But I also realize that my belief in my specialness has possibly been illusion. An illusion that I started believing in as a child, to help comfort me from the reality that I didn't have any friends and didn't seem to fit in anywhere. I don't know the difference between my actual capabilities and my desired self.<br />
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There is a tornado ripping through my house at the moment. I try to calm and steady myself through my writing, the writing that I have so desperately wanted to believe was different, special. But I don't know anymore. I really don't know.<br />
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<br /></div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-77969480397906574392012-06-11T08:25:00.000-07:002012-06-11T08:28:46.426-07:00Beautiful Mess<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This morning I woke up with an intense ache in my neck and shoulders, jaw tightly clenched. Anger has made a home in my body. Actually, I'm discovering that it has lived there for quite some time, I've just been oblivious to its presence. <br />
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While I write, a gentle rain falls outside my sun room window, and my furry companion Django sleeps at my feet. If only for a few delicious moments, I feel relaxed and calm. With greater frequency these experiences of tranquility have been slipping into my daily experience, intermingling with my chronic fear, guilt, and shame. A subtle shift is occurring in my life. Healthy friendships surround me, and I am slowly learning to care about myself. <br />
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The process of growth isn't what I expected. Ups and downs, intensely painful emotions, the ground crumbling beneath my feet, and failure and loss are all part of being alive. Life is messy, painful, and ultimately beautiful. Who knew?</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-73612439104856883462012-03-18T10:14:00.000-07:002018-01-01T05:13:25.584-08:00Crap<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The more I try to write, the harder it becomes, and it's not due to a lack of things to say. For the life of me, I cannot produce anything readable, even a blog post.<br />
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Recently, I have been experimenting with radical acceptance. Accepting whatever is, right now, in this moment, simultaneously accepting my shortcomings, while holding an awareness of the need to transform them into something healthier and more workable.<br />
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Letting go of my desire to produce something of any value, isn't making the writing process any easier. Neither adding pressure, nor easing up seems to work. So this is the part where radical acceptance comes in. What if I could radically accept that I am in a space where I cannot write, even with the pressure off? This is just what it is right now. Writers get writer's block; it seems to be a fact of life. As I am writing this, I remembered reading somewhere that sometimes you just write crap, and that's okay. Allowing for mistakes, allowing for crap. Okay, so I just experienced a revelation. Maybe I'll just keep on writing crap for a while. Because even if it is unattractive, messy, and completely undesirable to be in the same room with, I still enjoy producing it (crappy writing that is). I don't think that I ever realized that producing unreadable crap could be fulfilling. However, the bottom line is that I love to write. Admittedly, I would rather write something that has all of the vividness of a Chagall painting, and the light yet intoxicating scent of L'air du Temps perfume. But for now, I will settle for ... crap.</div>
Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-75359868332387775102012-02-10T12:01:00.000-08:002012-02-10T12:01:56.245-08:00Words<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Connecting with words as if they are alive. Words are a fickle friend. When I take a break and then return, I am not met with warmth; no, I am given the cold shoulder. I have to prove my loyalty once again. Some days I wonder if I will ever regain my friend's trust. I usually do. But during a dry spell, I agonize that my dear friend will not forgive my absence this time; leaving me mute and all alone. But this friend of mine doesn't hold a grudge forever, just for a little while I must suffer while my friend withholds its love. Just long enough for me to fill with regret and remorse for having ever left. I want to return. I long to return. Although I know that I will leave again one day. </div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-19852158142186526462012-02-09T17:59:00.000-08:002012-02-09T17:59:09.514-08:00Confession<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I haven't posted in a very long time. There hasn't been anything that I have wanted to say. I haven't wanted to share my inner thoughts and feelings with other people. But right now, in this moment, I feel terribly lonely and empty; two very vulnerable and painful emotions. The last thing that I have wanted to do was to share my vulnerability with other people, since I have always equated vulnerability with rejection.<br />
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Maybe I'm being impulsive. However, I know that I need to write; it has been so long. It feels as though I have lost most of my ability to convey anything meaningful. As I am writing these words, I feel the emptiness filling up ever so slightly.<br />
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There are so many of you that I want to reach out to, but I hesitate because more than anything, I fear rejection and judgement. I never let my guard down; always on edge; constantly frightened of being hurt. <br />
So much of the time, I am terrified, and this is the way it has always been for me. Sometimes I want to let people know that I'm so scared. I want to be told that it's all okay, that I'm okay and that I am really not the terrible person that I imagine myself to be. I live in a constant state of feeling as though I have done something terribly wrong, and I am just waiting for punishment to come my way. Although if I scan my memory I can't find the terrible thing that I have done. I've made some mistakes, but those things don't make me a bad person. So I carry this kind of shameful feeling with me always. I realize that some of you will judge me for confessing my vulnerability, and quite frankly I'm not sure that my sharing in this way is even appropriate. There are probably better ways to connect, and I may regret this later. But I hurt and I don't want to be in this pain alone. <br />
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My apologies to those blogs that I no longer frequent, I haven't forgotten the writers and I wish them all beautiful things on their journeys.</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-70445228382668208322011-05-02T08:22:00.000-07:002011-05-02T08:22:15.297-07:00The Harvard Version of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I really appreciate all the support that I received in the comments about my journaling class. To answer some of your questions: I teach journaling and blogging classes at 7:00 pm Thursdays at the Open Mind Center. To register call the center at: 678 243-5074. I don't offer my classes online, however, I have begun to entertain the idea of offering individual online journaling sessions via email. Not quite sure yet how to do that, but I am definitely open to the idea. Also, I recently started offering counseling services at the Open Mind Center, which is pretty exciting as this is a new service that the center is offering.<br />
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I recently read an article about the need for life to be challenging so that we don't get bored. The challenges are all there for our growth. Over the past few days I have begun thinking about life as both a game and a school. I had a moment yesterday where I could see it as a game that my husband and I were trying to figure out how to master. When I stepped back and in a sense removed myself from life, my life became fun. The challenges became fun. I was trying to figure out how to play this game. The game is messy, dirty, and heartbreaking at times, but I saw that it was possible for me to lift myself above it all and enjoy the messiness. Because the messy does not define me. I am not the messiness. I am just learning to maneuver the messiness involved in this game.<br />
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Life as a school. For the most part I have found adulthood to be one challenge after another; I have not enjoyed meeting those challenges. There has been a lot of struggle. Life hasn't always been easy. Holding the awareness of life as a school I realized that I have not been attending the community college version of life, but more like the Harvard version. I had never really thought of life in terms of easy schools and difficult schools. Maybe the people that are breezing through life are really smart at playing this game, or maybe they are just attending a school with a fairly easy curriculum. I have had some pretty difficult classes, I think that many of them have been AP. I'm pretty sure that I have failed some of them, however, if I was put in an AP class at one of the top schools in the country then there must be an assumption somewhere out there that I am capable of eventually mastering the subject and passing the class. I'm really looking forward to a new semester with new classes and teachers. Some of these classes are really getting old, and some of them I am starting to think I will never pass.<br />
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Update: I have made great progress toward getting my associates license for counseling. My application will be reviewed by the Georgia Composite Board next Friday, so if all goes well I should have my Associate Professional Counselor license within a couple of weeks. I did a lot of work in a very short amount of time to get to this place. Now I have to find clients, and that task feels a bit overwhelming at present. My energy is quite low, and I don't think that I am putting out the kind of energy that I need to put out to draw clients to me. So I'm frustrated. I know that I need to be patient, I just really like to see results and results don't always happen over night. <br />
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Right now I am sitting at the Open Mind Center, typing this blog entry when I should be giving my Journaling Class; however, it's hard to give a class without students. I have this great class to offer; I've seen its transformative powers. However, the trick is to get other people enthusiastic about something as basic as writing. I think that people are looking for "magic" and quick fixes, and they underestimate the power of pen and paper because it is so fundamental and basic. However, processing your "stuff" through the means of pen and paper works amazingly quickly and gives fast results, and it's empowering because the healing is coming from within the writer. Yes, it helps to have me there guiding the students, but ultimately the writer has the answers within themselves, and they have the key that will reveal those answers.<br />
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I am so happy to reconnect with you all. Thank you for remembering me, and for supporting me along my journey. My apologies to all of the blogs that I have been neglecting lately. Although I'm not responding to your posts, my thoughts are with you and I send you wishes for continued success and happiness.<br />
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Much love <br />
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I took a beautiful and joyful three mile walk while listening to some of my favorite songs. Music has a way of lifting me out of any kind of funk I might find myself in and setting me back down into my heart.<br />
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When my husband came home from work, I was making dinner and listening to James Taylor Radio on Pandora. He and I ended up sitting on the couch talking and listening to music for a couple of hours. It sounds so simple and basic, yet it was such sweet and perfect joy. Every song was fantastic. Life was good.<br />
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Happiness is all about perspective. My father always told my sister and I that a person is as happy as they want to be. That really drove me crazy when he said that, but he was right. Yesterday I chose to be happy.<br />
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Happy music:<br />
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Something feels different; I kind of feel more grown up. It's sort of like I have opened the door to having a career, and it looks as though I am in control. I realize that control is an illusion, however, I don't know a better way to put this than that it feels as though I am not at someone's mercy. I can choose the hours that I see clients, and I like that. However, I have no control over whether or not my imaginary clients will materialize into flesh and blood people that want to become my real counseling clients. Perhaps I am becoming a more balanced person. Maybe my life doesn't have to be all or nothing, maybe I can be creative and a therapist, or a creative therapist. <br />
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This is completely not what I planned to write about if I wrote anything at all. What I really wanted to write about was how ambivalent I feel about Facebook and blogging and technology. But I got off track. I once again find myself somewhat at peace with FB. I go through phases where I feel so disgusted with having the ability to share with a group of friends and acquaintances my most meaningless and random thoughts or even my bathroom habits if I was so inclined. In those moments of virtual doubt and confusion, I wish that I could be alone in a jungle with just me and an antelope or two, sans iPhone. I ask myself if it really matters if I have friends or if I am in touch with anyone. In those moments I am perfectly happy with myself, my little family, and my humble life, and feel no need to let any of you know about my receding gums, or that my roots are growing in too fast, or that I just can't seem to get my arms in shape at this stage in my life.<br />
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I'm back in the game for the moment, and I'm enjoying it. <br />
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Another wonderful thing that has happened has been my writing for the online women's magazine Ask Miss A. It's exciting to go to interesting places and interview interesting people. My daughter and I had press passes for Tuesday night to attend Burn the Floor at the Fox Theatre. A few months ago I would never have imagined that I would be getting press passes in the near future or anytime in the future. The whole evening was such a delicious treat for us, and I feel so much gratitude for being presented with the opportunity to attend.<br />
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Even with these happy and unexpected occurrences in my life, I still feel incredibly ungrounded most of the time. I feel as though I am neither here nor there, and I find that feeling to be more than a little unsettling. However, when I think about the changes in my life, I definitely feel that I am being guided by an invisible force and that I am loved. There is the doubting part of me that I can never seem to shake free from, however, there is another part of me that is comforted in the subtle experience that my life is headed somewhere and it could be somewhere good, somewhere that I may not have imagined, which makes it all the more exciting. Although I don't fully understand it right now, I believe that I am entering into the next chapter of my life and that it has the potential of being quite a powerful and liberating experience. <br />
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For much of the day after leaving the workshop, I felt disoriented, as if I was disconnected from people and life. Later in the day I remembered that I felt the same way after my mother's death. The anniversary of my mother's death was the day before. I was right back in the disconnected feeling, the whole world had turned upside down.<br />
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Last night I gave a blogging class at the Open Mind Center. Two dynamic and insightful women attended my class, and as usually happens when I give a class at OMC I felt that I was given a gift by the participants presence there. Being with them brought me back to reality. We had insightful and lively discussions, and in the end we returned to the message that writing has the ability to connect us to our selves on a deeper level and to give back to the world around us even if only one person is reading what we have written.<br />
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Today I feel encouraged at the prospect of giving more classes and the hope that more people will come to value the process of journaling and maintaining a blog. Mostly, I feel a sense of relief to find that pen, paper, and process are still waiting for me despite my neglect and inattention. <br />
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Now that I have committed myself to pursuing licensure for counseling, I am worried that I will get sidetracked and my writing will suffer even more. I am aware of my weaknesses and I am aware of the things that I let take me off course. I don't want to lose the most vital part of myself: the ability and desire to create.<br />
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I would love to have someone to write with once a week. I can see me and my imaginary writing friend sitting in a coffee shop writing together for an hour. It's a sweet vision, and it's something that could definitely exist in reality, I just need to find that person. Right now as far as writing goes, I mainly need to find myself again.<br />
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My student had signed up for the group, however, she ended up being the only person to sign up, so it wasn't a group, which ended up being a very good thing for both of us. During the session I was feeling insecure and worried that I was doing a disservice to her somehow, and that she would walk away without getting anything beneficial. However, mid way through the session something shifted in her while she was writing, and at that moment something shifted in me as well. I realized that I wanted to use journaling as a therapeutic tool with people, and I realized that in order to do that I needed to start the process of applying for licensure.<br />
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Yesterday I began making phone calls, requesting documents, and filling out paperwork to become an LAPC. It finally feels like the right thing to do, and like something that I want to do. It would be all too easy for me to beat myself up for not starting this years ago, as I would already be an LPC by now. But I'm not beating myself up, because I realize that I was not ready even last Wednesday to start this process. It's big, intimidating, and you have to really want it to tackle it. I didn't really want it before and it was far too much for me to handle. Now I want it. I put off doing a lot of things because it is easy for me to feel like I am on overload, however, when I really want something I start pursuing it immediately and put everything I have in to accomplishing and reaching my goal. That's how I feel right now. There is no waivering for me with this, there is no putting off. I want it and I'm going for it. The time is right.<br />
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Because I have decided to pursue becoming licensed does not mean that I have forgotten about writing and what is most important to me. Expressing my creativity through writing is what centers me in my heart, however, I realize that I can also use writing in a therapeutic way that will help other people and also fulfill a need in me. I'm not quite sure what that need is yet. Possibly it is the need to be helpful to others in a hands on way that involves something that I love: writing.<br />
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I feel as though my journey has shifted and that the path ahead has gotten a little less narrow.This is an exciting time in my life. I am ready for change.<br />
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</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-4034952226200581902011-03-11T09:38:00.000-08:002011-03-11T09:38:57.307-08:00Period Girl Comes Clean<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Period girl proved to be one of my more popular posts, and I have to wonder if it was because I mislead you with the title. I have asked myself "Did they really believe that they were going to be reading about menstruation?" I think that the answer is yes, some of you began reading that blog post with the hope that all of your questions and concerns about menstruation would be answered. But I tricked you. You know what? I think that many of you liked being tricked. Although you were hoping to become more enlightened regarding a woman's period, you were just as happy to read about punctuation, and emoticons. Did I say that right La Belette? Was it emoticons I was writing about? Over the course of the past few days I have given some consideration, albeit not considerable, to the thought of changing the blog's title to Period Girl. I think that it might be good for business. I have also toyed with the thought of starting another blog devoted to beautiful women with big noses. It might be called Noses of Note. I would feature a different nose every day. <br />
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A bit of lightness and fluff can be a good thing on a Friday. I will write again with substance sometime soon, but not today. </div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-65053956430143012252011-03-08T09:55:00.000-08:002011-03-08T09:55:44.722-08:00Period Girl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Before I started using Facebook I ended my sentences with periods. However, frequently I now end a written sentence or a conversation with a smiley face :), a wink ;), or the ever popular exclamation point!. It's really quite unnatural for me to end sentences this way, but now it's become something that I feel that I must do in order to present a facade of being happy, peppy, or just plain excited about life. I don't end normal every day conversations with a shout, or an exclamation of joy, unless I have just been presented with a really lovely piece of chicken.That's just not who I am. In real life I don't even know how to wink, I guess I'm not visually coordinated enough to pull it off, and I can't really think of many occasions where I would end a sentence with a wink anyway. I suppose that I just want to fit in and seem as sparkling as everyone else in cyber world. But at heart I am still a period girl.</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-11027382154266013532011-03-03T07:25:00.000-08:002011-03-03T07:39:16.428-08:00Vulnerability<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">So as it turns out, my interest for the blog has returned, not full force but a spark. Something in me shut down when I found myself feeling exposed and vulnerable. The truth is, I hardly ever allow myself to really feel vulnerable in "real" life. I stuff down all emotions that will lead me to that bad place that I don't want to go. I am extremely guarded and self-protective and I hate feeling vulnerable, ever. So, I don't let people in and when they try to enter my world, they frequently find that the gates are locked, or if they manage to sneak in past the guard and around to the back entrance they will eventually find themselves expelled.<br />
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The only time that I ever really allow myself to be exposed is through writing. When I write I feel safe, strong, and confident enough to share myself openly and vulnerably with others. I'm not sure that I need or want to give that up right now. I want to thank <a href="http://www.labeletterouge.com/">La Belette Rouge</a> for sharing herself so openly, warmly, and lovingly through her writing. She makes the prospect of keeping and maintaining a blog an attractive and appealing idea for me. She inspires me to continue communicating through this means. Thank you La Belette.<br />
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I am better in writing than I am in person. In person I come off as shy, cold, or aloof. Really I am just scared. With my husband and daughter and with my friend Pamela, the real me emerges. Funny and crazy. But even with the people close to me I don't want to be vulnerable. But I can show up in my writing as an authentic version of me, and that will have to do for now. </div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-54197050992672230242011-03-02T12:25:00.000-08:002011-03-02T12:25:21.263-08:00The Gift of Praise<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Last night my daughter told me that one of her teachers loves her now because my daughter is working extra hard and taking more initiative in class. I asked her how that made her feel, her face lit up and she said that it felt really good. My daughter got off to a rocky start this year with this particular teacher, so much so that my daughter believed that the teacher was out to get her through most of the first semester of school. My daughter has started turning things around in most of her classes, putting in more effort and acting more responsibly. Her teachers have responded with praise and encouragement. Guess what? The praise and encouragement that my daughter has been receiving motivates my daughter to keep doing better. Watching what has been unfolding for my daughter at school has been a good lesson for me as a parent. As a parent it can be so easy to reach for a critical remark or become overly focused on what your child is doing wrong. However, criticism never really works. On a personal level, I can tell you that having my flaws and mistakes pointed out seldom if ever produces any benefit for me. However, if you show a bit of confidence in me I will be more likely to rise to the occasion.<br />
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Every child needs discipline and boundaries to truly flourish in life, and along with that comes the need for praise and acknowledgment for all that they are doing right, or even attempting to do right. I am reminded of a book about writing that I recently read, in which the author talks about the art of being a good reader when reading another person's work. In a nut shell she said that praise strengthens a person's work and criticism has the opposite effect. We don't have to praise bad behavior or bad writing for that matter, we just need to focus on what is working, and as we focus our gaze on the good we will find a storehouse of more good awaits us. </div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-78134447452054296992011-02-28T07:05:00.000-08:002011-02-28T13:30:50.754-08:00Ebbing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">As some of you might have already noticed, I have been updating my blog less frequently in the last month. A month ago I approached the blog with an enthusiasm to connect to people and to write about whatever thoughts were brewing in my mind at the time. However, after revealing too much of myself a few weeks ago in a post, I lost steam for the blog. This is quite interesting and a bit disturbing to me considering I will begin teaching a blogging class this Thursday at the Open Mind Center. I have really struggled with the fact that I am not maintaining my blog and yet I will be in the position of encouraging other people to create blogs. However, there really is no need for me to see any sort of discrepancy here, because although I am backing off from my block at the moment I still find keeping a blog to be an incredibly creative, therapeutic and overall growth producing experience. As I have said before, keeping this blog has been one of the biggest and best gifts that I have given myself. However, life is a process of ebbing and flowing, and people change and energies at times are redirected. Right now I am feeling very internal and do not feel a pressing need to share my most intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a public arena, and that's okay.<br />
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I am focusing more on writing articles and on my first writing love, my journal. My passion for writing always expressed itself in the journal, and I always felt that I was my best as a writer while journaling. A few years ago I started reading the diaries of Anais Nin, and while reading them I experienced a tremendous amount of encouragement and inspiration in discovering the value of a diary as a legitimate means of self-expression and creating art.<br />
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When it is time for me to re-emerge from my cocoon I hope that you will still be here for us to share this space together. I really never know anything from one day to the next. Who knows, I may be ready to regularly post again sometime later this week. I can only speak for how I feel today and how I have felt over the course of the past month. As I am writing this, I feel the need to delete and erase it all, because I do not want the bond between us to be broken. So, let's just say that I am taking a mini vacation and will be back soon.<br />
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Much love,<br />
<br />
Me <br />
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</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-90085927209455450532011-02-23T04:47:00.000-08:002011-02-23T04:47:21.615-08:00Delicious Foreign Films<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Watching foreign films, French films specifically, never feels like I am wasting time. When I am watching a film by an auteur director, such as Roehmer, Goddard, or Truffaut, I feel as though I am contributing to my education. What education you may ask? My film education of course. It's as if I am enrolled in grad school film classes and I have been assigned to watch these films. So, I'm doing my homework and it's homework that I love to do. Watching a good French film also makes me feel like I am ingesting healthy food.<br />
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Over the past weekend, I watched two movies that I had already seen, but that still had the power to leave an indelibly sweet impression on me. I watched a British film Enchanted April, and Claire's Knee by French director Eric Roehmer. What is it about these movies that touches me at the level of my soul? They definitely have a quality that is lacking in American films; they embody a certain simple elegance and tranquility that has a very soothing effect on my mind and emotions. There is an absence of music to tell you what you should be feeling, which I find quite nice. I love music, but there is something extraordinary about watching a movie where you can hear the sounds of nature, i.e. birds chirping in the background. Enchanted April was set in an Italian castle and a great deal of the film takes place outdoors in the springtime. The mountains and water play a predominant part in Claire's Knee. The visual beauty combined with the sounds of chirping birds creates an experience within me that sets everything right between me and the world.<br />
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Unfortunately, in my opinion, many foreign films try to follow in the footsteps of American cinema. When I watch a movie I want to be transported into the world of the characters, which includes having a somewhat authentic experience of the country they are in. However, when you have a foreign film that tries to mimic an American film you lose the quality of "otherness" of something different and unique to that country. What you get is an American film starring French or Italian actors speaking in their native tongue. I get to see American movies in America, so when I watch a French film I want it to feel authentically French, not like a rip off of what is done over here. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/VAfeqAYndZY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Let's close this post with some charming French music that I was recently introduced to; I think it's the beginning of a new love affair.</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-3142608927161650042011-02-15T06:19:00.000-08:002011-02-15T06:19:53.965-08:00Music<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Music has a certain powerful quality that stops the chaotic flow of my thoughts and settles my mind into that sweet and delicious space of my heart. Sometimes I forget about how much I need music to remind me of who I am. Apparently I loved music even when I was a baby, my mother wrote in my baby book that I responded to music by dancing and obvious joy.Although I may have never been proficient technically at playing music, my essence has always been musical.<br />
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For most of my life music was like air for me, I needed it to survive. Over the past couple of years, for reasons that I cannot remember, I abandoned music and took refuge in books. At times while reading, I feel that I almost reach that same level of joy and knowing that I experience with music, and at those moments I feel satisfied. Last night my husband turned on James Taylor radio on AOL, and I found myself back in that place within myself where there is nothing but the present moment and all of my life made sense. I closed my eyes and I was carried back to the best part of me. Those moments contain such clarity and happiness that I question why I don't listen to music more often. Music has never let me down and throughout most of my life it was my closest and most intimate friend.<br />
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When I feel scared and overly cautious about life decisions I can put on music that has the opposite qualities. I can reach for a piece of music that is confident or quirky and be reminded of my own innate confidence.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JkIiaaXUjlE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Music is the link to my soul. May I remember to reconnect with my soul every day through music.<br />
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</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-77643973118729205302011-02-11T13:47:00.000-08:002011-02-11T13:47:27.330-08:00Fashion Eras<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I recently found the pilot episode of Thirty Something on Netflix. I was delighted, as TS used to be one of my favorite shows. Twenty four years later and I still like the show, but find the themes bore me and apparently I have a decreased tolerance for yuppies. Yuppies aside, what bothered me more than anything were the clothes. In one scene Patricia Wettig had on a green sweater that appeared to have several small balls attached. Then there were the shoulder pads. What were women thinking in the 80's? Why did we think that it was a good thing to look like line backers?<br />
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My favorite television shows generally come from the 70's. There are only two shows from the 80's that I remember with great affection, the first being Thirty Something and the other was the Days and Nights of Molly Dodd with Blair Brown. However, I find the clothing from the 80's so visually distressing that I don't think that I can handle watching another episode of Thirty Something.<br />
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At least as far as the twentieth century goes, I think that the 80's was hands down the worst time for fashion, the 1930's and 40's were my favorites. What are your favorite and least favorite fashion eras?<br />
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</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-29753937086359058882011-02-11T03:55:00.000-08:002011-02-11T03:55:48.818-08:00Sky and Snow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">It was still dark outside when I dropped her at carpool. I drove to get a cup of apple cider, the sky growing slightly lighter. A perfect white covered the branches of the trees and the rooftops. Snow. Beautiful this time, but not obstructive. On to the dry cleaners and it is still dark, but still with that magical glow surrounding me. I have broken habit by exploring my world in the early morning hours. I like it. My heart and mind feel at peace finally.</div></div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3167059509279665711.post-45974531146531758112011-02-10T05:38:00.000-08:002011-02-10T05:38:56.360-08:00Hibernation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">This week I haven't maintained my blog as I usually do. I feel little need to write and share at present. Last Friday I chose to make myself vulnerable in a post, and I ended up regretting it. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, there are some things that I wish to keep to myself, however, sometimes I just really want to connect and to update the blog. If I don't have anything to write about then I take whatever is relevant in my life at that moment and I write about that; that's not always a good idea. I think that it is best to check in with myself and use a bit of intuition in order to know if something feels right to write about. In my need to just write something to keep the blog updated I may overlook an intuitive feeling that tells me not to post. My post last Friday received a well meaning comment that created even deeper feelings of vulnerability for me. We all read from our own points of view and we all have our own interpretation of what we read, and sometimes those interpretations are accurate and sometimes they are not. The commenter doesn't know me and misinterpreted what I was going through last week for something else. I ended up taking down the post, and I'm glad that I did. Everything does not need to be shared.<br />
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This week I am not drawn to keeping up the blog; I think that this is fairly common for many of us that have blogs. Sometimes we don't have anything to say, but we feel that we must in order to maintain our blogs and keep our readers. This week I feel more inward and I don't have much to say. I'm hibernating for just a little while. I may even come back tomorrow.</div>Jamie Goldberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07900972397725351825noreply@blogger.com2