Thursday, November 18, 2010

After the Crash

Sometimes it's okay to rant and wallow; however, usually it's best to avoid. I was in a bad space this morning and I'm still not over my "I don't like Jamie" fest, but things are looking brighter. Actually, things where never anything except for bright, it's all in the way that my mind has been interpreting the happenings or lack thereof in my life. So I have indulged in a couple of days of self-pity and loathing, which has been pretty unattractive and not that pleasant to live with I'm sure. Sometimes you're in pain, and even though the pain may be your own creation, you still need to express it. I suppose that it is really a cry for help. Is there someone out there that can save me from myself already!? I guess that my post this morning was really a cry for help, and I'm happy to say that I received help in the form of encouragement, love and support.

Generally, I find that there is a positive that is linked to every negative. In the moment, in the middle of the meltdown, when all systems are crashing it is hard to have perspective. After every crash, I end up stronger, better, and with a deeper and richer understanding of myself. I'm getting there.

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