Monday, December 20, 2010
Cohesion not Dissolution
Bringing together disparate parts of my life and weaving them into a whole is a challenge. Lately I have been blending people together in my mind, forgetting that they belong in very different categories in my life. Yesterday, I began to panic that my worlds were about to collide; I began to question myself and my choices, worrying that my life was becoming too messy. My fear and self-doubt stemmed from my life taking on an unconventional feel. I began to worry that I wasn't doing things that other people would find conventional or normal. My thoughts are becoming more simple and yet more complex. Judgements that I previously held are beginning to lose their grip. I have become more hopeful, insightful, and deeper and yet part of me desperately wants back in the tight airless box that I was in a few months ago. On an intuitive level I know that I must not run away from change and the unknown. My desire: creating harmony on all levels, cohesion not dissolution.
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I relate to these feelings. I have, over the last several months, been bridging my work/professional and bloggy life and it was scary/disorienting and ultimately wonderful. I wish I had known upfront how this merger would go and yet I think jumping and finding the net was there was part of the process.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you are able to create the harmony you are seeking.
Thanks so much for writing me. Lovely to discover your blog!