Monday, December 20, 2010
Cohesion not Dissolution
Bringing together disparate parts of my life and weaving them into a whole is a challenge. Lately I have been blending people together in my mind, forgetting that they belong in very different categories in my life. Yesterday, I began to panic that my worlds were about to collide; I began to question myself and my choices, worrying that my life was becoming too messy. My fear and self-doubt stemmed from my life taking on an unconventional feel. I began to worry that I wasn't doing things that other people would find conventional or normal. My thoughts are becoming more simple and yet more complex. Judgements that I previously held are beginning to lose their grip. I have become more hopeful, insightful, and deeper and yet part of me desperately wants back in the tight airless box that I was in a few months ago. On an intuitive level I know that I must not run away from change and the unknown. My desire: creating harmony on all levels, cohesion not dissolution.