This morning my dear friend told me that one of my posts yesterday made her feel guilty, and she said that I sounded angry. I was angry and I knew that it was coming through in the writing. I intended for it to come through in the writing. I was feeling considerable frustration and disappointment about some situations in my life and about my fear of dealing with them in order to take care of myself. I worry so much about offending other people, that I end up not taking care of myself or saying what I need to say. So that frustration manifested in a blog post. After talking to my friend I thought about deleting my post or posting a retraction. However, my feelings haven't changed about what I wrote, so why do I feel the need to pretend that they have. The only reason for me to try to take back my post is because I don't want my readers to leave me. This blog is a place for me to take refuge, and a safe space for me to speak the truth about what I am feeling and thinking. Part of me wants to pretty it up to make my feelings palatable to my readers, but then what really is the point in keeping this blog if I have to put my make-up on before I can write.
The bottom line is that if you read this blog, whether or not you comment or follow, I still feel that you are with me on this journey. I appreciate every single person that takes the time to read this blog. Yes, I get frustrated that my friends don't follow, I can't deny that. Nonetheless, you enrich my life beyond measure by taking the time out of your day to read my words. Why don't I want you to leave me? Because you all make me happy, and you all improve the quality of my life. This blog was one of the best things that I have done for myself, and the fact that you show up day after day, or every other day, or once a month makes it all worth while.
So, if I offended anyone yesterday, I really can't change that. I was frustrated with many things, however, I am also immensely grateful to everyone that reads this blog. Thank you for reading and thank you for giving me something to look forward to everyday.
The bottom line is that if you read this blog, whether or not you comment or follow, I still feel that you are with me on this journey. I appreciate every single person that takes the time to read this blog. Yes, I get frustrated that my friends don't follow, I can't deny that. Nonetheless, you enrich my life beyond measure by taking the time out of your day to read my words. Why don't I want you to leave me? Because you all make me happy, and you all improve the quality of my life. This blog was one of the best things that I have done for myself, and the fact that you show up day after day, or every other day, or once a month makes it all worth while.
So, if I offended anyone yesterday, I really can't change that. I was frustrated with many things, however, I am also immensely grateful to everyone that reads this blog. Thank you for reading and thank you for giving me something to look forward to everyday.
You certainly didn't offend me. I completely understand how you were feeling. And it makes sense that we want our friends to support us in our interests and endeavors. Anger is okay. Right? No reason to edit out anger. And it is your blog and it is a place for what is going on with you. I value your exploring whatever is up with you. Keep it up.xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou certainly didn't offend me either. I put my feelings out there also, happy or sad, because that is me for the day. Your feelings just make you human. Can't have much closeness if we hid the human part of ourselves. Did you find a solution for your bio?
ReplyDelete...maybe we don't want our friends and family to follow our blogs. I understand exactly how you felt. I have had the same feeling SO many times..and how about my friend, when asked if she had looked at my scrappapermonologue blog and her comment was "cute" wtf?...those collages are tapped from my soul..."cute"???...that's when I gave up asking friends to follow, read or even look at my blog. Please, don't stop writing with honesty.
ReplyDeleteFroogal, I agree that our creativity is most definitely an expression of our souls. Obviously many people do not understand just how important our creations are whether they are writing or art. Makes me aware of my own insensitivity and the need to more aware of supporting other people in what they do.
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